I don't know if I should continue to DB.

[forward]

I am feeling almost as if I should give up.

Had DB session, mediation session, and conversation this evening.

H says he does not want to be with me, does not want to give me any hope, and that I should let go. Wants me to discuss D.

I said I don't want to discuss D and that while I take responsibility for my role in the situation, it is H's solution to the problem, not mine. That I had wanted to work on things.

I said I don't blame him for feeling as he does because as our life for a time was very difficult and had a lot of things happening that were difficult. I said D is the typical easy route that most people take (H seems to think that he is super cool rebel for getting D). I said that I could understand wanting a big change and in some ways I was glad that he made one, though not of the type I would have liked.

He does say he is sympathetic, that I was a good wife and he was lucky, that I can always call him, blah blah. Does not much mention OW as if she is a factor...only a tiny bit.

Doesn't know what to do since I don't want to agree to D. Said we will talk more.

I don't know if this talking is good. DB counselor seemed to think it is moving in the right direction. Certainly there is less hostility and maybe even some concern for me that was not there before.....

Jeeziz, I don't know what to do.