It is ironic that I just told Donna I have stopped a lot of my own 180's. One of my early goals was to make eye contact and allow for skin contact. That was when I acted as if. Now he is acting as if and I am dark and apathetic. Ugh. Why are we always out of sync? I really do not trust this dude. Not as far as I can throw him.
I do not know what is going on in his life anymore and for that I am grateful. It is funny how he tries to throw in some details of his life here and there. I am not interested in hearing about it. This is a man who felt his life was so empty that he compromised his own integrity.
For the life of me I cannot talk to him on the phone or even look at him. I literally walked right past him and made a bee line for my S2. It is not even disgust, more like....dissappointment? But a word stronger than that....dissilusionment? As if the person you thought knew you so well was really a fake, so everything feels fake. I have been in fake relationships. I have really faked it with other dudes. This was different. I was completely real with my H. So that makes it way worse. To be rejected when you are completely transparent.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
