Hey all... I've been posting in newcomers for a while, but I figured I'd check this area out as well.
You can read my sitch from the link below, but I'm just curious as to what books.. advice etc is out there.
This has only happened within the past month, and it's gone from "Just Friends" to physical in that time.
I know for the most part she is in "puppy love" but how do I deal with her? We are separated (she is in an Apt) and she blows off our kids to interact with this guy.
I've confronted him (text) and that's done nothing. He's recently divorced.. 15 years her senior and completely not her type. He gave her a hicky (sp?).. she HATES those.
I've decided to go dark on her a little because I've been way too nice and she's taking advantage of me.
You must be a marine with that name... My dad was marine so im familiar with that!
I read your stitch and yes it sounds like she is immature you hit it right on the head. If she is blowing off her own kids to be with this guy she is truly lost. Giving her a hicky.. sounds like they are in high school.
I think going dark is the way to go. You need to detach. Gal and get out there and do things for yourself and with your kids.
try to be as calm and collected as possible with them, they are so young and its so wrong that they have to be put through this because of her selfishness.
I wouldn't push, only deal with her if you have to.. concerning your daughters thats it. If she does talk with you, keep it simple and matter of fact.. as if..
How long have you been married?
tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
It would/will have been 6 years in December. We've been together for 7.
I called back (I knew she'd be in school) and left a VM.. I know I shouldn't, but I have access to her yahoo email and I've been watching them go back and forth.
Hi and welcome. I just went on your link to read up. WOW you have been a major rock in this whole thing. Good job. I have 2 daughters, 3 and 5 too, aren't they just the very best? My reason to smile these days.
If you aren't SICK of affair books, Not Just Friends is a very good one.
TAL is a wonderful resource and gave the advice I would give. Detach BIG time, but do it with respect and lovingly. You have the be the rock, for your kids and for your very confused wife. I would also never contact OM again. It wasn't getting what you wanted (answers) and he is a nimwad anyway.
Thanks lwb... I actually haven't focused on the affair.. for whatever reason, it doesn't affect me as much as I thought it would. I don't know... I do have some flashes here and there.
The girls are sooooo awesome. My 5 year old is 5 going on 20. I swear she'd be dating and running around with a cell if I'd let her. The 3 year old is a pistol.. I love them soooo much.
They got to spend time with Grandma tonight. So hard not to tell her to check out her daughters hicky!!
My 3 yr old's nickname is "Spunk" for spunky, and that's what she is. And my 5 yr olds Christmas list is: cell phone, cordless phone for her room, TV/DVD player for her room, and a digital camera. lol Whatever happened to playdough? Soooo not gonna happen.
I am glad the affair doesn't get to you, wish I could say the same. That takes a lot of strength. You should be proud to be able to see past it.
I think MIL is the part of the issue. I know I've had plenty to contribute, but my W had bulemia (sp?) in HS. I've been told by many educated people that you don't just "get" that in HS. I know how she is, and she's contributed a ton as well.
I don't blame her though.. my parents are circling around me. That's what you would expect them to do.
What's funny, is even my counselor is ready to straighten her out. Why is it everyone else can see but them??
My W (whom I refer to as CW for Crazy Wife) is bulemic as well, for well over 20 years and that is a big part of our issues. Read up and see the ride I have been on and learn from where I and others have been.
Semper Fi
Me: 44 S: 17 and 7 Final-6-13-08 I once went to a psychic who told me I would soon feel cheated......
OK... so she called. I answered for a couple of reasons:
1. She contacted me twice without provocation. 2. She had midterms and I knew she'd be a wreck. 3. Her BF is out of town, so I know she's extra down.
So.. she was upset.. failed her midterm.. at least she believes she did. I let her talk for a while about it.. listened and validated. She mentioned a few times she didn't know why she was talking to me (because I basically told her off last night). I told her I'm listening aren't I?
She thanked me.
Then, her lawyer must've gotten our response. She's not happy even though I've basically agreed to all this is right.
I don't know... I gave her a little. I'm curious to see what she tells BF. If she tells him I'm still being a jerk, I'll be pissed.
And my 5 yr olds Christmas list is: cell phone, cordless phone for her room, TV/DVD player for her room, and a digital camera. lol Whatever happened to playdough? Soooo not gonna happen.