The Zoo of the Surreal

[MJontheMend]

Isn't trust-building a process? Like walking out on the ice, testing it with your foot? The word "trust" covers so many different areas?

I used to say of one of my dearest friends (and it was literally true): "You would trust him with your life, but you wouldn't trust him to return a library book on time."

Good point. Was your friend a Type 7? I would say that nobody is perfectly "trustworthy" but maybe people can at least be self-aware and honest about the ways in which they might be weak. Like a little "May be slippery when wet" sign about your functioning. For instance, I always try to be honest and open about my tendencies towards absent-mindedness, procrastination and instant acquisition of deafness when inquiries about who ate the last cookie are bandied about.

GP came right out and told me that he cheated on one of his former LTR partners and he told me about the circumstances under which it happened and let me decide whether that behavior made him seem untrustworthy to me.

What exactly does GP mean by wanting you to trust him (yeah, I get the dark alley thing, but I want a literal answer not a metaphorical one)?

I have basically asked him this question and he hasn't really given me a specific answer because I think his theory is along the lines of "women start dysfunctioning in relationships when they don't trust you" so really what he is saying is "I would like to do whatever possible to make myself trustworthy in a relationship because I really don't want to be in another dysfunctional relationship." So, actually, I think what he mostly wants is for me to openly communicate what would make me feel trusting.