Now I've done it.... again #4?

[nephartiti]

Hi everyone. Been busy. Thanks, as always for your support. I'm trying not to go crazy. I'm not succeeding very well. I notice that when H regresses, I tend to as well. We both fall back into old patterns. I guess this is the dance of change. It takes time and tenacity to really make progress.

I don't know if H is melting. I think it was just a passing whim. I have regressed to driving by the school for the last 2 days. He has been there, sitting with OW. I wish he would at least put some extra hours in while he's there to finance his new life style.

I read "Break Free from the Affair". I was discouraged because I think I am dealing with a "My marriage made me do it" type, which the author states has a very low chance of the M surviving. I do also se very strong elements of the "Revenge" type with a little mix of "Desirability" type. It becomes very daunting when I look at it this way (more than it already was).

I got my new cabinet doors installed today. The apartment looks better than ever. I make my bed everyday now (I hardly bothered before). It feels like home again. I guess that is progress too.

I wanted to chuck the camera and new PC after H was a jerk the other day, but they are still here being used so I guess that is progress too. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm not where I was either. I guess that says something.