Is it time to cut him off?

[Trixi]

But Oh, how I hear H's come back afterthey get wind of another man getting interested in Mama!

If there was something that worked every time... then that's what every woman would do.

Sometimes what you say happens. And sometimes, their husband says, "oh, i'm so glad you found someone. that leaves me guilt free to go date who I want".

I am almost to the point of thinking that's perfectly fine. Guilt or no guilt- does it really stop them from dating ultimately? Do I want guilt to be the only factor that keeps my H from dating?

If I were out in the dating world (for real) wouldn't I want the guy to WANT to be with me for ME, not because of guilt? Ok, sure, guilt (commitment,etc) are great motivators to get a marriage thru the tougher times, but he moved out; he's not trying to make it thru the tougher times. He is looking for greener pastures. We have talked about commitment and marriage vows and he doesn't think they apply. In his mind, he already fulfilled his "commitment" when he stayed for kids.

I don't know if I can make it the rest of October before pulling the plug. He's cake eating. He 'knows' I am always here in the background, so if he isn't successful in his 'shopping' he can come back to me, the committed wife that loves him. He searches me out for comfort. He looks to me to fill his ego. ("Why do you love me? Why do you want me back home?" And I am so dumb, I answer him!)

I am a bloody fool. I feel like a jerk for letting him back in so easily.