Head nod, head nod, head nod. I have no interest in marrying any time soon... for lots of reasons that have nothing to do with how I may or may not feel about a man.
I do know that I will not consider marrying ANY man before I have known him for five years.
But many years ago, my shrink warned me about a two-key relationship (two-key meaning, I have my place, he has his)... in that an R can only progress so far given that scenario. You ALWAYS have the option of leaving. It is a false positive.
I keep that in mind. I'm slowly beginning to understand what he means.
I agree with you whole heartedly that marriage brings with it some pretty funky expectations.... and then.... there is that one statement I can think of that makes M worth it.
"I am there for you." Period. In every sense of that statement.
It's ratting out all those other funky expectations before you are ever willing to consider that last statement that's the trick. So in a situation where you are 'happy enough'... M falls by the way side. M, in and of itself, is not the goal. But if we stay in Rs that are 'happy enough,' but you don't want to get married to that person... you never find the person you WOULD be willing to marry. Two-key R.
I'm not saying you are doing this, btw, I'm just wondering about it. I even lost my own dam point...
