Divorced but CANNOT "move on": Urgent Help Needed!

[azhira]

I sent her a note apologizing for all my "nasty-grams", acknowledging that they were stupid and counterproductive.

Okay. You've said your part. Now, really leave her alone. When she calms down and feels comfortable, she'll peak out. That may be a long, long time.

I was so low that I did not want to hear anything except that "it's not too late".

Great for recognizing that! That's okay...we all have really down days. Now, time to move forward more productively. You'll probably have up and down days.'

But, if I can at least get her to notice a positive difference in me, that might intrigue her enough not to shut me out completely.

That's exactly where you need to be starting from. "Fully reconciled" is a long, long, looong way off. I'd say you need to shoot for "pleasant, short interactions entirely on XW's timing" right now. lol

because my XW only started dating again within the past couple months, I'm feeling a lot more pressure to put a plan together NOW. I want to give her reason to pause BEFORE she gets seriously involved with anyone she is dating.

Not much you can do about it, unfortunately. She will date. She may even get involved.