Hey KC, I know how ya feel about not wanting to be socialable in public. I was very openly socialable while I was in Acting As If mode, but for some reason I can no longer handle being seen in public with H. It is just beyong awkward no matter how cool I try to be about it. I actually feel debilitated if e is anywhere near me.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
KS, A friend told me about a study where they had people write out how they feel, especially their anger. They were told to write without editing themselves, to write everything the felt and thought, no matter how horrible. The control group was told to just write about their day. The test group had such great results that they stopped the control group and told them to write theire feelings too.
The idea is to write, uncensored, and get the anger out. I recommend it. How about giving it a try. You'll probably never want to let anyone read it, but it'll work - I think.
I know you've already come a long way, but you've got some anger (who wouldn't?). I think you'll feel better when your past that too.
Just like you're doing, don't have anything to do with him beyond what you legally have to, or have to for your d's sake. I know you're already doing this but, don't bad mouth him to your D, don't play his games, especially if peanut is in the middle. I know you know and are doing this, just some support offered to you.
Not that this is important, but I think that as you get stronger, care about him less, even stop being angry, he'll want you more and more. Don't let him trick you. He may want you just because to prove he can get you. I'm not saying never let him back into your heart (heck, we are on DB boards. It could happen, It could even be good, right?) but don't let him affect or control you.
In fact, I would stop asking about checks clearing, or anything else, and let the lawyers, courts and such do the job.
My 2 cents worth.
I started a journal when "the plan" came about and have been venting thoroughly in there up until about three weeks ago. It does help to see it in black and white.
Thanks for that advice.
Right now I'm just sitting on my hands, waiting for the packet to arrive at my house so I can start this child support enforcement process. I'm done being "nice" or being rolled over as the case truly is....
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
LOL Kind of fitting then that I should tell you about my night....
Well it appears that my texts regarding bills & checks go ignored, but texts about fund raisers for our D don't. So after he replied to that, I sent another one asking about half the dental bill & if his check cleared.
No response.
So I sent one later that said if I didn't get an answer either way, I would just have my lawyer call his.
"Go ahead and take me to court - I sent the check"
Which led into a 20 minute tirade while I was at work (he called) and I let it all out. I've lost respect for you as a man and a father. Maggie is not the issue, our agreement and you holding up your end of the "fair" agreement IS. You dropping out of your daughter's life...is.
I won't swear to it but I believe he might even be following me. He knew about a date in town - where & what night. He knew what nights I played ball and what times. I told him my personal life is not his concern any more. He said he answered questions that I asked but now I can't do the same.
My favorite was - "so when you start getting your $$$, will you stop being a b!tch?"
"No I don't think so. I haven't been a bitch to you."
Then he wanted to belittle me. NOPE! I've f-ing PAID MF!!!!! PAID for a year. Let you treat me like SHITT for a year....and you're DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now I just wait on the packet and pray to God it's in the mail today or tomorrow. Please God.
....Understand, that I can't, not be what I am I'm not the milk, and Cheerios in your spoon ~ Avril Lavigne ~ ..."Nobody's Fool"...
