That was like finding out there was no Santa Claus...
I have been there, or thought I was.
Amy you are an inspiration to so many here.
You have fought the good fight for so long.
Do not harden your heart to forgiveness. My heart is not hardened to forgiveness, Jack. It is hardened towards the idea of being the only one accountable, the only one forced to change, the only one who had to grow up. I am glad that my eyes were opened to how precious the family unit is. I am glad my eyes were opened to just how wrong I was, how immature I was. I did fight. I will still fight for my kids. But there is a world out there that I am still not a part of - I am NOT living - and there is nothing for me in "standing", either. I have no friends. For almost 2 years, I have lived and breathed "Divorce Busting". For 3 years prior to the I was in MLC. I can't regret any of that because it woke me up to so many things. I still live sheltered though and for what? So the same alcoholic that I lived with all those years can throw me a crumb and invite me over for an evening? I don't think so. I couldn't go back if he asked me to tomorrow. That was a hard realization to come to, to know that all I'd gained would actually be lost if I went back. I love him but my concern and my priority is my daughter.
I have only one question and one question alone, and I am most certainly not trying to cheer lead or have you change your mind.
Who's providence is hate? Do not give in to that. Sometimes resentment is the first step towards seeing things for what they really are and doing something about them, Jack.
