What is reasonable and what is not?

[JAK58]

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What will I do if I see he is still in contact with her?[quote]

SO2,

You will go dark and start taking care of you!!! You can not and should not control what he does but, you can control what you will allow him to get away with.

You might (if i can suggest this to you) want to tell him that as long as he is in contact and has anything to do with OW that you are not willing to have a R with him. If he is in contact with her he probobly won't drop her just like that. So i wouldn't really believe that if he tells you he isn't seeing her right away.
You need to set these boundries to help you. It takes a long time to let go and live life for you and not your H but, that is the best thing that you can do for you and your child.

OF course he will continue on his Merry way if he is allowed to.

So2, if your XH is in MLC ,his going back and forth is part of this crap, and it may take along time to come out of.
Please read all you can on MLC and try to see if that is what you think it is. DO not tell H you think he is but gain all of the knowledge and know that it is an illness and there are no gaurantees. You also need to appear cool calm and collected in front of him. but remain firm and do not let him walk all over you.
Keep going over the DR book( do you have one?) until it becomes a second skin.
You need to learn how to detach from his crap. it's hard to do but has to be done in order to keep your sanity.
Heck, i still have a hard time here and there with it. More so when my H throughs a wrench into the R, and his MLC has been going on for at least two years. One year since the bomb.

Please take care of you.

JAK