I also agree with COG. I am not sure what your W's issues are but it should not stop you from being a loving, honorable, decent man. My parents have been apart for 23 years and my Dad still sends my mom something on their anniversary. They were married 18 years but they will always love each other in a weird way. Just send something the same way you would on Mother's Day. She will always be the mother of your kids. It will be my birthday in a few days. It will be a punch in the stomach if my H does remember. I would prefer if he just buys me something in the name of the kids. If he gets me something from him I would not recover for days. It would be a shallow reminder that I no longer have a H who loves me 100%, a sad consolation prize!
I am sorry for the added dificulties of your sitch but I am glad you have a trip to look forward to. Disneyworld is truly the Happiest place I have ever been. I took my kids to Disneyland as a single mom and it was so amazing!!! I felt so much stronger knowing I could do it. So can you. Yes, your kids are at a diffiicult age for separation but I think any age would be awful, even if the kids were 40!!
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
