Well, 2 hour of sleep last night as my mind spun up another scenario. I had been detaching pretty well, or at least I thought so. As you may know, D16 is at a school in Utah, becasue her behavior was so out of control. I can correspsond with her through writing in the parent portal, and she can respond back. I can't see W.s emails, she can't see mine, but we can both see everything D16 writes. Yesterday, I could not get through to D16 on the phone. I wanted to ask her if she would like to go to FLA over my leave. I wrote her a note on the portal and read several of her emails. In one of them, she talked about being so confused about"My suicide attempt (I told you guys about that if you've been here long enough) ,me attempting this again when I got home and W. dating again" I immediately had the overriding anxiety monster take over my body. When I did reach her later that night, I went through the FLA thing, and asked, wrongly or not, "Is mom dating"? to which she replied "No, but she still wants a D.", I asked when this talk occurred, because they are "refereed" by D16s counselor when they talk, because they had such a contentious relationship. She replied "Very recently" D16 went on to say "Dad, you need to try and look at the upside of divorce. Mom is happier, I'm happy, D14 is happy and S9 is happy. Mom's mood controls the mood of the whole family, so if mom is happy, we're all happy" I'm sure this was all W.-counselor driven exchange. D16 later said that w. never really mentioned D. (?) who knows, she was probably trying to save me! I know I shouldn't have doen this to to D16. I remained upbeat, talked about FLA, said I was happy for her, and told her that I was concerned about evrything she threw out in the eamil
2 hours of shi&&y sleep. I know D. is still a very big, if not certain outcome here, but it was like a punch in the stomach to here that. COG, I'll take your advice on the note.
