I really can't say that I had the necessary self-control. As I mentioned, last evening, W pressed me for my thoughts about the meeting with the teacher. It led into an argument, and this time I was not just going to take it. I was already hurt and upset with her for the way she behaved earlier in the afternoon.
First, she asked me did I learn anything from what S6's teacher was trying to tell us. She said that (in her opinion) the teacher agreed with W that involving S6 in our "adult" business was harmful to him and was "cruel".
She accused me again of calling her a liar in front of our son. I told her she was wrong. I told her that I asked S6 to tell W everythinghe and I had discussed, but W only wants to hear what she wants to hear. We have a difference of opinion, and I am tired of being asked to be complicit in her lies. She said that involving S6 and putting him between us was cruel. I told her that I certainly regret it, but lying to him was also wrong. And further involving his teacher in her complaint and our business, especially when she had just made the point that she wanted us to contain it, was also just as wrong. Her defense was that the teacher was an adult and not a child like S6.
I told W that in my talk with S6, I heard her words coming from his mouth that could only have come from her. Stuff like, "OM is just a friend." I believe W is coaching S6. And so hearing S6 repeating W's words, I had to contradict her information. If that's "calling her a liar", so be it.
It got heated. W again kept saying she had to leave me because of how I am, not because of OM. I did not keep my cool, sad to say. I told W that there was a reason I became the way I was, and that was due to depression. I said there was a good reason and a cause for why I became depressed, and she needed to look at herself for her contribution to that.
W discounted the depression again, and began recounting everything she found wrong with me. She kept using absolutes again in repainting our history, and as she said certain words I began to repeat them back to her: "Never", "Always", "Completely", "Total", etc. She said she could never stand another 20 years with me and she had to leave me. At one point I actually thanked her for leaving me, if you can believe that. W said, "you're welcome."
I again started to tell W about what I really discussed with S6, how I told him to pray for her, but she hung up on me.
I am to the point where I am giving up or detaching, I don't know which. I just did not hold my cool in the end. I kept my composure earlier, but she got me to break that night.
