Yes..my wife is more social than me. However, I never stifled this in her or suppressed her independence. If she wanted to go out with friends, I let her. I didnt mind that. Sometimes though I perhaps didnt want to go to every event. But, she wouldnt always go without me eiher. She did form a group of work friends that she spends time with. She has many friends and makes a big wide rotation through them. She's still rotating through them right now. Her friends dont really like being the 'hot' friend for awhile and then being put on the back burner. She's sort of flaky in this area. I have not chosen my wifes friends or activities. I think after the bomb, she was going out and drinking a lot, which was different behaviour for her. I did give her a hard time about that and let her know I was concerned about her drinking. That seems to have leveled off a bit. I see this as a good sign. I do see some changes in her that shes GAL. Such as working out, eating lunch out with friends every day, travelling to see friends, etc. We are not going to see each other hardly at all the next 12 days. She has agreed to go to IC. We are in upper 30's.
I got this email today; I think there are some positives in this as well as some negatives. I am not buying a house no matter what. I am trying to delay this move out scenario as long as possible.
"Hi - I hope you are having a nice time in xxx.I thought yesterday went well. I want you to know that I want you to be happy - your happiness is so important to me. It made my heart smile when you said you were going to work on you - that is exactly what you need to do, and me on me. If we are both happy and understand what makes us happy, we will be able to see what the future holds for us. You deserve happiness and seeing you start to realize how much has been bottled up inside of you leads me to believe you will be great.
What are you thinking for a home? I really think it is smart to buy something - it is an investment no matter what. If you feel like you don't have the money, would you ever borrow from your parents? I know we have stock and you can use that. I am sure my dad would give you money - he wouldn't give me any, but would probably give you money. I want you close - for the sake of the kids. We should work on a plan and get it in place and communicate it to the kids. I also thought that you should take everything in the kids room so that they have familiar stuff in a new home. I can get them new stuff. You can also take anything you want with you. I will help in any way I can.I hope you know that. The bottom line, I don't hate you.I don't hate you at all.I care for you very much. But that doesn't translate to "in love", which I know you have heard.
Let me know what you are thinking.I am also going to try and get S11 signed up for something next week.I am calling the school to see what they have to offer as well.I can do the same for D8 but I am not as concerned about her right now. maybe when the move happens.Let me know what you think this is about both of us making decisions together. Talk to you soon."
