How do I balance making invitations with not pursuing?
You asked. He accepted. He was relieved. Perfect! As you get closer to the day, plan your meal and plan your division of labor. This was well done.
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How to balance having some dignity and self-respect, while feeling pathetic waiting for a man to decide if he wants me, after telling me that he doesn't love me enough to stay (his words).
29 years of marriage is not something you throw away. Carry yourself with dignity and self-respect and acknowledge that you are willing to accept that he is having difficulties. Again, look at the positive. It isn't pathetic to wait when your H shows many signs of wanting to be around you and his family.
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However, it is really hard to get past reacting to feeling rejected, and to my H's warm/cold thing.
He is over at least once a week and enjoying you. As he said, he needs to grow up, thus he is rejecting his old self. Again. Stay positive.
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sort of a compulsive communicator
Stick with the communicator. Ease up on the compulsive. You have identified what you consider to be a problem. Just keep trying to find that right balance. You can't change overnight.
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but this recent misunderstanding about Thanksgiving was a result of my attempt to say less.
Actually, I think the problem was that you overthought things, i.e. you are trying to detahc a bit, not be pathetic, would you be pursuing...yadda yadda.
Know what I would read. Something to take your mind off of all of this. And if you can't. Try this. There's a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem by Wayne Dyer. Anger by Thich Nhat Hahn.
Hang in there farmgirl. You are so pathetic and you are tryig to do the right thing. Your H shows interest and he recognizes he has some issues. I was out of the house once a couple years before the big bomb. I wish I recognize I had issues as your H does. The key, let it get fixed in its own time. That will give you the best chance for success.
