I feel a little confused about where to start these discussions which is why I may need to involve a professional ST to help me say what needs to be said without doing a bunch of damage.

I think this is probably the wise thing to do. The only suggestion I would have is to mention the ST before you actually go or talk on the phone so that he does not feel like it's an ambush or anything. A simple "Hon, we really seem to struggle with connecting sexually and I would like to talk with a professional about it. I've scheduled an appointment with a ST next Thursday. I'd really like it if you could go with me." I wouldn't say anything that would make it seem as if you are blaming him. I think it's good timing for this.



But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus