Hey Heim. Think you are doing pretty good lately and you have been getting good advice from others. Thought something you wrote made some sense to me especially since I am having trouble with the same things you are.
Quote:
The ever-elusive beast that is detachment. To me, and I've thought this before, detachment is like holding two contradictory thoughts in your head at once -- 1. i could reconcile with my W 2. I need to live my life like that's not going to happen. It's like you've got to put your love in bubble wrap or something so that you don't feel it as anything other than this presence somewhere inside of you. You can't act on it, You can't do anything with it. You check to see if it's still there now and again, but that's it.
I think you are right on here. I also think that you have to take it one step further and not care that you may not reconcile with W. I think that as long as you are caring and hoping that reconciliation may occur, you will never really be detached. I know I am not there yet, although stepping up the GAL routine has helped me not to dwell on my situation as much as I used to. There always will be a time, usually in the evenings, while I am at home alone where I find myself longing to have things back to normal but I have been a bit more accepting of my situation lately. The loneliness is still there and pretty pronounced. I still care and really want to get back together so I think I still have a long way to go with detachment.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1162413&page=2#Post1162413 M-28 W-28 Together 10 years Married 2 years No children Things started taking a turn in 01/07
