Stay neutral. Now there's something that is easier said then done. Staying neutral is not something I have historically done well. Sorry I'm not Swiss. LOL!
What seems like the right thing to do is be friendly and continue to promote the friendship. Acting "as if" that is as if we are friends and as if the troubles aren't really there. But that seems fly in the face of DBing principles. What's strange is if I do it a little but not over the top she seems to respond, especially when I am very happy and positive.
So right now I am about as lost as I have ever been as what to do.
Now some slightly good news and not to make cookies out of crumbs here but she is reading The 5 Love Languages book right now. So I take that as a signal that she is trying to learn more about herself and how to better manage her relationships, hopefully ours. She did say to me the other night after I told her all I have ever wanted to do was speak her language and that I felt lost about it for the last 3 years. Also that after reading that book I was surprised by what I found out about myself and it's clear that through 2005 and early 06 she was doing a great job of speaking my language and I was flunking at speaking hers. I told her that all during that time I was desperately trying to speak hers and it truly hurts I was failing at it. I told her all I would like to do right now is speak hers. Her response, "that would be nice."
So glimmers ever so slight. Hopefully we can both build off of this.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
