I just don't know whats wrong with me, what it is that I really want, H said that it seems like I am pushing him out the door, maybe I am, but why? Is it because I am trying to proctect myself, or is it because I want it done...I just don't know.
I am going to detach again, and just focus on me for awhile and see what that brings!
HB don't worry about what you say, as I know its said with love!!! and I want people to be honest with me! As the people here are the ones who do give it to you like it is! and I value that!
Me - 44 H - 44 M - 19yrs together - 23yrs D16 S8 EA/PA - Bomb Oct20/06 Jan 8/07 Feb 01/07 Jul 15/07 H still @ home Recovered!
I just don't know whats wrong with me, what it is that I really want, H said that it seems like I am pushing him out the door, maybe I am, but why? Is it because I am trying to proctect myself, or is it because I want it done...I just don't know.
I am going to detach again, and just focus on me for awhile and see what that brings!
HB don't worry about what you say, as I know its said with love!!! and I want people to be honest with me! As the people here are the ones who do give it to you like it is! and I value that!
Me - 44 H - 44 M - 19yrs together - 23yrs D16 S8 EA/PA - Bomb Oct20/06 Jan 8/07 Feb 01/07 Jul 15/07 H still @ home Recovered!
I just don't know whats wrong with me, what it is that I really want, H said that it seems like I am pushing him out the door, maybe I am, but why? Is it because I am trying to proctect myself, or is it because I want it done...I just don't know.
I am going to detach again, and just focus on me for awhile and see what that brings!
HB don't worry about what you say, as I know its said with love!!! and I want people to be honest with me! As the people here are the ones who do give it to you like it is! and I value that!
Me - 44 H - 44 M - 19yrs together - 23yrs D16 S8 EA/PA - Bomb Oct20/06 Jan 8/07 Feb 01/07 Jul 15/07 H still @ home Recovered!
I just don't know whats wrong with me, what it is that I really want, H said that it seems like I am pushing him out the door, maybe I am, but why? Is it because I am trying to proctect myself, or is it because I want it done...I just don't know.
I am going to detach again, and just focus on me for awhile and see what that brings!
HB don't worry about what you say, as I know its said with love!!! and I want people to be honest with me! As the people here are the ones who do give it to you like it is! and I value that!
Me - 44 H - 44 M - 19yrs together - 23yrs D16 S8 EA/PA - Bomb Oct20/06 Jan 8/07 Feb 01/07 Jul 15/07 H still @ home Recovered!
I just don't know whats wrong with me, what it is that I really want, H said that it seems like I am pushing him out the door, maybe I am, but why? Is it because I am trying to proctect myself, or is it because I want it done...I just don't know.
Limbo, I think these are probably normal feelings. Just part of the rollercoaster ride. Hang in there and work on the Retro stuff. I haven't done it myself, but sure wish we could. I see that as such a positive that you are both involved in something that is focused on moving your R forward.
Not to give you any additional pressure, but you've been one of my inspirations on this board. It's nice to see success stories.
I have realized how much of an idiot I have been! Why is it that I couldn't be happy with what I have, I have something that is better then it has been in well over a year, even longer actually, but I couldn't be satisfied! Well now I have really realized what I have right now and I am grateful. I think that woke me up is what Disillussioned said to me that work me up, and that I am an inspiration to him, and that really made me look at what I have and what I have achieved, and I am so grateful for it! Also last night we dialogued and we talked alittle about h relationship with ow, he said it wasn't a relationship, he knows that now, what we have is a relationship, we love, we laugh, we have history, children...and that made me feel really good, that he now knows that and I do believe that he feels that in his heart! So I am happy right now and know that I am and we are moving in the right direction!
Me - 44 H - 44 M - 19yrs together - 23yrs D16 S8 EA/PA - Bomb Oct20/06 Jan 8/07 Feb 01/07 Jul 15/07 H still @ home Recovered!
Hey Limbo - I just wanted to stop in and say hi. Thanks for all your posts to me. I appreciate it. Glad to see that you are focusing on the positives. You have heard a lot of great things from H recently. That is great news!!!
Em
Me: 34 H: 39 M: 7 yrs H A 12/05-8/07
If what you say surprises me, I must have been assuming something else was true. - M. Wheatley
Even though your process is slower, you are still moving in a good direction!
My H is still trying and I am only trying to focus on that! Although sometimes its hard, especially this week as its coming to the annv of the 1st bomb, and so things seem to be in the front of my mind right now! But h continues to try and thats all I can ask for, he even begin classes tonight to convert to my religion, it has never been something that I have asked him to do, or expected...he wants to, as the kids and myself are catholic and he feels that this is something he wants to do, so it has totally been his choice. We had our retro on Saturday and it went well, was about trust and forgiveness, so I think in dialogue we will get alot of things worked through, and I look forward to that!
Me - 44 H - 44 M - 19yrs together - 23yrs D16 S8 EA/PA - Bomb Oct20/06 Jan 8/07 Feb 01/07 Jul 15/07 H still @ home Recovered!
he even begin classes tonight to convert to my religion, it has never been something that I have asked him to do, or expected...he wants to, as the kids and myself are catholic and he feels that this is something he wants to do, so it has totally been his choice.
Man oh man! That has got to tell you something there, girlfriend!! He really is in this M for the long haul. Listen, sweetie, all that negative stuff I said about OW and H working at same place.....forget that. This man has got what it takes and I think he is trying to show you he means business by making this very serious step. If you have not "hounded" him into doing this....then you have much to be happy about.
As far as you not having certain "feelings".....well, I could write the book on that subject. Anyway, put it down to all the emotional crap you have been through. At some point and time....our bodies and mind subconciously start to protect itself. You have been through so much. Stop worring. That is the biggest problem right now. (And, I might add, I didn't help matters with that negative post I sent you....sorry).
Maybe instead of detaching, you just need to have a relaxed mental attitude and think more about GAL instead of what/how you feel and your H feels, etc. He can tell when you are "uptight" and that will turn him off.....big time. It affects all husbands the same. (lol)
Even though you have your H, you can still have time for you. Do something that will make you feel real pretty and celebrate being a woman! I changed my hair color and I found it helped a lot. Kind of fun, in fact.
You were talking about how it helped when you were told that you had been an inspiration to somebody. Know what helped me.....oh goodness I'm going to sound arrogant here.....but to read my own advice.....hahahaha. Now, the ticket is to start taking my own advice...then me ..... and maybe another person...or two... will be better off. (lol) So, go back and read what that person saw that inspired them so much!
Take care......you are doing much better.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
