[/quote] I feel like exh has the perfect life. He can come and go here, see his child when she is born, be a family when he wants and then when he wants peace and quiet or independence he goes home. I feel like this is the perfect scenario for him. Why should he ever change? [quote]
You feel it because right now he thinks he does have the perfect life. THIS IS WHY YOU NEED TO SET BOUNDRIES!
You are letting him come and go at will way to much IMO. He seems to have no responsibility to you and the children. He can come have fun and go when he is sick of the responsibility. Try telling him that he can't come over at certain times because you have other things to do. When he calls do not answer every time. Be vague about what you are doing, but be nice and do not let him see anger and do not pursue. Let him see that you are controlling you and that you do not need him to be happy.
Don't worry about talks of the future right now. Just let him see what he could be loosing again if he continues the way he is. Above all you do need to be patient this takes time. It was five months from the last R talk before i even asked my H about how he was doing in his MLC. I probobly should have waited even longer but, it was brought up in a convo. We still have a long way to go.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
