Why is it that before H came over I was trying to once more talk myself into not being weak incase he approches me sexually, but at the same time as I came out of the shower and I am rubbing lotion all over my body ....I am wishing H wold walk in...and make mad passionate LOVE, not sex, but LOVE......
UGH!!!!! So, I took my time but, H was running a little late, so I finished & got dressed, gave up, convinced myself to stop the nonsense.. at least for the moment.....
When H came in exhaustion was written all over his face..he dragged himself in and compalined of how tired he was and how he was burnt out out of nascar..yeah thats a first...I was in the Lr eating dinner...I know letting him eat is also cake eating,but as far that goes I really dont mind...I am not the type to eat infront of others and not offer.....He laid down on the sofa and gave the girls their traditonal beany bears that he gets form wherever he travels too. H told them maybe they will start to colect them from every state. I told D10 to ask daddy what she had asked me the other day. I told him that the girls were confused. I told the girls this weekend they will be w/ you at your place & his fav. D7 said no daddy doesnt live there anymore. D10 said "oh yeah, daddy why is it you moved all your stuff back and you said you were coming back but your still not only here but on Tuesdays & Thursdays?"H-I will not just yet, not ready yet. I didnt say anything. The girls just looked at him.
I was putting wart medicine on D6 on my bed when H came by to say goodbye & turned his cheek for me to kiss him. I called him to ask him something and then I told him to give me a real kiss. Heck w/ have sex so that should not be a promblem anymore....I think he didnt want to get anything started b/c he truly did look tired. So he leaned into me & gave him a big soft,lingering one....He said, oh..dont start....he gave me another (granted D6 was right there and he kept looking over at her like to say are we doing anything about her?(I dont know,assuming) All I wanted to do was kiss him... Then I kept talking to him as he was heading out... I noticed he was breathing hard, deeply...hmmmm, but I left it at that......
I file it always as a good day when we dont argue.... I didnt ask when he was coming back..I know he dreads that now everytime he visits.... Even though its cake eating to some here....
I get to show him my cooking he said he misses....
He relaxed watched his BIG screen TV that he doesnt have at OW's
Again he pointed out how he was not taking anymore of his clothes, but I acted as if...told him he can do want he wants, since he had taken most anyways..He said no, no....
