Divorced but CANNOT "move on": Urgent Help Needed!

[Just_Me]

Please don't bother responding if you have already determined that I need to "move on", "get a life", or have "more realistic goals". I already wasted $150 an hour to hear that from a psychotherapist who was only interested in teaching me "coping skills". (She was totally unfamiliar with the concept of divorce busting, and explained that both she and I were powerless to influence anyone else's [my XW] behavior.)

Dead man walking,

You might be in the wrong place. I probably should have been one of those that "didn't bother posting", but I couldn't help myself.

First of all, you are divorced. Your wife is single now. She can date anyone she wants, so it really doesn't make sense that you would say anything to her about it.

Secondly, I don't know how long you've DBed, but you maybe missed the point and also missed what your counselor told you. You are still under the impression that you can say something that will make her love you. Based on your post, you are desperate and needy at this point. You won't be told to "get a life", you just want a plan that will get her back. You want to control what she does. Do these sound like attractive qualities? She won't come back to a desperate, needy person. That's why you've been given the advice you have. You can reconcile, but if you want to increase your odds, then you need to start moving forward.

Lastly, yeah, reconciliation is possible, but you really do need to focus on yourself. You've been told to "move on", "get a life", "let her go", and unfortunately, there is truth to the statement that if you love something that you have to let it go. Holding on tight and refusing to have a complete life of your own isn't going to influence her to come back. Instead of snooping on her Yahoo personals profile, why don't you focus on your own life for awhile and let her live hers. Make the most of the opportunities that you do talk.