My Journey Begins...New here

[thba]

You have all paid a high price to get to where you are. Trusting your W again may be easier said than done.

I wasn't, however, prepared for the lingering resentment and difficulty in trusting her again.

The concern that I had about my wife, and that you may have with yours, is that such inconsistent, immature behavior could rear it's ugly head again.

I don't know how that applies to divorced spouses considering remarriage or the possibility of that.

So it seems like taking it slow and deliberate is the best rule of thumb.

Yes, we have paid a dear price to get here. But, sometimes you have to spend money to make money so to speak?!?!? There are so many cliches' that could be inserted here but bottom line is that I am hopeful that what the end result is to be will be stronger and more precious than thinkable.

The trust thing is on the back of my mind. I am hopeful that when we hit a rough patch again (which will happen) we will be able to work through it rather than hiding from it. Time will be the test I believe.

I don't feel any resentment at this point. Every now and then when she is telling a story from our time apart, the little green monster awakens inside me. But, I do my best to "act as if" during those stories.

In the past week I have bombarded my mind with searching for how this is supposed to go via the internet. Lots of "take it slow" and other similar tid bits. I know that we are writting our own story and what we are comfortable with is what is best. So far so good I think.

I am not sure about the whole remarriage thing. We are both Catholic so in their eyes we are still married I believe. Have not spoken to our priest yet, but this is my perception. Our 10 year anniversary would be this coming May so I am hopeful that by that point we can recommit ourselves to each other then. I am thinking someplace warm and sandy....

Now for a bit of journaling...

She came over after work again last night. She brought home chinese for dinner and afterwards we all took a walk down to the park and let the kids play for a bit. One interesting thing that I picked up on last night is that she seems to be much more interested in our dog now.

Another item of interest that pertains to her comfort level with me. When getting ready to go to the park, I was in the bedroom putting on a sweatshirt and she came in and proceeded to changed into sweat pants right there in front of me. No bashfulness whatsoever. I didn't gawk or even really look. Inside I was doing cartwheels as I see this as a sign of trust on her part. But I also know not to read too much into it.

After the park, kids did their nightly routine and then her and I watched TV for a bit. Went to bed. Kissed her goodbye and told her to have a good day on my way out this morning.

Never would have imagined this a month ago....