Not really. I believe in trying adn trying. I believe that marriage doesn't always mean romantic passionate love all the time. I believe it means acceptance and honesty and openness and a willingness to be the best person you can be and respect your partner (in their beliefs, their physical self, their mental health) and support that person and be prepared to accept support from that person. I believe it is about having a right to know your spouse better than anyone else does and to actively work together to build a better life.
However, with h. His past behaviour is showing that he feels ripped off in life and wants to do his own thing. He doesn't modify his behaviour to change the things that he does that upset me.
He doesn't seem to want to work on things any more. He feels that he has tried enough. I personally thought that with the dancing, that was a beginning to coming back together.
He says our outlooks and values in life are not the same. He says we don't have the romantic love any more (der!!). He says we are dysfunctional together and are better off as friends. AS husband and wife we are constantly at each other's throats because there is so much expectation.
So, I will clarify my position. No, I don't want a divorce. However, until he decides that he wants to change and will actively work towards fixing the relationship, I don't want to be in an intimate relationship with him. I hurt too much. So, bottom line is I guess that I think we need to separate completely for a while and should probably divorce. Everything else I have done has not worked. maybe we can have a good relationship post-D.
