Ok, we had out third meeting with the new counselor and I took most of the time for a change. I put out my perspective and I actually think W listened a little. It hasn't changed her position to go forward with the D but maybe she at least heard.
The dilemma I had now is that she wants to sit down and tell the kids together and explain what will happen from a custody standpoint. She wants to deflect any questions about why this is happening with some kind of generic "we have had some adult problems" statement. I have told her before that I will not lie to my kids and tell them I support this decision. Every cell in my body tells me that this(the D) is wrong and nothing good can come of it. She has told me I can't say that to the kids. In other words she once again wants me to do something that makes this whole thing easier for her. I am tired of doing her dirty work for her and co-dependently allowing her to not take responsibility for her own choices and actions in life.
So my dilemma...she thinks not talking about reasons/causes/etc would be healthier for the kids. I think if we don't answer their questions they will creat their own answers and by deflecting it is ultimately dishonest with the kids (S11, D9). So do I sugar coat it all or stick to my guns and stay honest with them? I'm not talking about making accusations, mommy did this, etc, I 'm talking about just saying I don't want this to happen either.
Any thoughts from someone who's been through this?
Stand up for what is right, even if you are standing alone.
