I will say that with explaining these boundaries to my children last night they had a much better night. When he didn't call by 7 PM they knew we were turning phones off and they were ok with that. For the first night in weeks I had everyone in bed and asleep by 8:30 except the 11 yr old who had to watch Heros. I honestly think the kids need boundaries and consistency as much as I do. Am I wrong?
Ah.. with more info, it makes sense now. It's kinda too bad.. if he was more stable, it might be nice for the children for him to wish them good night. but, you gotta work with what you have.
you definately need to make clear to him, that it was his complaints about "you" calling all the time, which is leading you to not allow your children to call.
Although, you might give a little flexibility there, and do the same thing for your children, that you are doing for your husband. set boundaries. Tell them (and let him know that you are telling them, and why), "children, if YOU want to call daddy, it needs to be at this particular time", otherwise, we dont want to 'bother' him".
He knows I mean that he can not say he is coming back. I guess however I should be clearer next time.
Dunno if you want to make it the same "7pm", or a different time.
Quote:
He knows I mean that he can not say he is coming back. I guess however I should be clearer next time.
He doesnt seem to me like he understands ANYTHING in normal senses. So I would definately think that spelling that out to him more clearly, is a good idea.
I think you should also be explicit about, "you cant say you are coming back, if you are NOT coming back".
telling him, "dont say you are coming back", seems like a bad idea to me.
Last edited by Dom R; 10/09/0707:44 PM.
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
