Yes, that was the hardest part for us too. They did a section on forgiveness and we had homework to work on forgiveness. But we came back the next week without any change. This just stuck in our craws, both of us holding on to anger. Finally I contacted one of the presenting couples and asked for assistance. They suggested that we write our stories, as they had. She said that's when it clicked for her. Well, that sure did look like a lot of work, so I tried a different way.
We dialogued on forgiveness. Then after the discussion I pulled out the DB book and turned to the section on forgiveness. It was really good. So I had my H read it and we discussed some more. He promised to think about it. We haven't discussed it again. I just felt that the problem was gone after that. He started to act differently. Less careful about giving of himself. I think we did it, but who knows?
