After the small victory the other night, a strange thing has happened. W had been giving me trouble about promptly paying me for things, about moving along the final D transactions (spliting accounts, etc) and basically had refused every request in the area I'd made. And had said she would not remove my name from the house mortgage ("Why should I pay for it when I plan to make all the payments? - my atty didn't quite see it that way), even though she was required to in the D decree. I finally sent her an emotionally-driven email (I know, you're supposed to let those sit for a day prior to sending, but I sent it anyway - probably a bad idea) basically saying I had been playing nice, doing things for her that she asked, and she was screwing me at every turn on the things I had asked for, and that if that was how it was going to be, that I was done doing things she asked for. It did not mention the mortgage issue.
No response. She calls me just like I hadn't sent it. "How are you? How is your day? Camping was fun. Blah, Blah." Weird. So then last night I refused to be her plumber. This morning she calls and is all apologetic about not taking my name off the mortgage, that she realizes she needs to do it and just eat the cost, and she has sent in the paperwork! Wow! Hello, who is this on the phone where my ex used to be???
I don't know if anything I did had anything to do with it. Was it the email? Was it the plumbing refusal? Did she ask her atty about it and he said she had to do it? Who knows. All I know is up until now, being nice has not gotten me anywhere, and having clear boundaries has, so I'll keep doing what works!
Even if it's all in MY head! Ha!
built4speed My Saga "How others deal with the gifts you've given is not your decision, but theirs." - Richard Bach
