muddled and angry: Puddle's third thread

[Heimlich]

I got nothing much further. Sounds like you and Nomo have gotten to the point where you see more of your respective S's negatives than positives, which is helping you detach. I'm the reverse, I see more of my W's positives than negatives, which is doing the reverse for me.

Regarding talking to your H. Just a random thought that I'll throw out there. You keep telling your H how you feel and he's not getting it. What about one "big" talk, let it all hang out (since, unlike most of us here, your H wants to understand you -- I think.)? After that, leave him be -- "you're right, it won't work out. What are our next steps" and move the R from a M to a "business" relationship (ending the M).

As I mention, your H eludes my tiny understanding.

BD