A new year Part XIV

[Lissie]

You had the sneak huh?
That sneak that says

HOLY CRAP you can't leave me to raise these kids by myself?

It hit me on the subway one day, not pretty.

Since then, I have accepted it.

It is what you are starting to do.

You are starting to grasp the reality of all this, and it is not fair at all, that on top of all the divorce drama, you have to keep it together enough, now parent 2 teenage girls and a 10 year old boy.

YIKES.


Today is the day you say to your self, God give me some strong's cuz I gotta do this.

It is no more, "getting by" it is now nipping things in the bud.
I know it is hard, but I see already how much you are doing, and it is wonderful.

Finding a parenting plan that works for you and the babes.

Making mistakes, as Figgy said, but learning from them.

Leaning on us, or family, or someone else sometimes we you need a breather.

I will tell you I try to follow a few simple rules, with my kids.

And I have learned this the hard way, I am still learning this.

Loving parents are parents who deeply value themselves enough to not worry about being rejected by their children.

That was hardest thing for me to grasp. I thought after all this muck, that my babies have been through, I could not be the one to dish out the discipline. But I have, and for the most part it is working well.

Once, M&M realized (are still realizing) that I am willing to set solid limits on unacceptable behavior, and I will be not available to manipulation, things fall into place a little better.

I try to enforce these words to live by, with my kids. I said TRY.

honesty, integrity, caring, compassion, kindness and empathy.

Then the biggie of all biggies.

I realized that As much as I wanted to be loving parent, unless I had done my own inner work to heal(still healing still trying) all that crap inside of me, My insecurities were going to show through my parenting. I would be wanting to to get my children to perform in a way I wanted in order to define my worth. (wahoooooo thank God for therapy)

I am sorry I didn't mean to make this about me, I just wanted to tell you that , you are not alone, you never will be alone, with your friends and family.

We are here to support you, in good times and in bad.

You can always ship me the daughters and I will take them for some retail therapy, it does the soul good.

You can do this Ian, start today, take it one day at a time, and you will see the fruits of your labor.