These men get lazy. They don't like the work it takes to maintain a relationship. I had that trouble with my husband too. I had to insist that we dialogue not less than 3 times a week. You and he have come so far. I don't think he wants to throw it away. I think he is lazy. As far as OW is concerned you need to dialogue about it.
You could do: "How do I feel when I think you are seeing her?" and he could write on "How do I feel when I see her?" Or something like that. You have the tools to save your marriage. They are no good if you don't use them.
Call the presenting or post session couple for help. The husband will call your husband. You are no longer alone with this. There is help, just reach out and ask for it.
Keep your chin up -- depression is your enemy. Go back and read the notebooks so far. It will help you.
