Now I've done it.... again #4?

[fightingirish]

Neph,

Hi Honey, Just want to say sorry first for your pain, In know only too well what you going through, .. I can give you some insight that I hope will help you.. but we have some things that are different..

My h never left. When I first found out there was trouble last year, I left and took the kids with me. It was probably not the right thing to do at the time, but I had to get away, even if it was just for the night. I came back the next day and I just told him to basically stay away from me, that I would stay but I need my space. He said that was fine. He also was visably upset, maybe guilt maybe him being sorry , maybe both.

I told him under no circumstances was I going to put up with him posting a naked picture of himself on adultfriendfinder. He had it immediately removed.. duh!!

Anyways.. I can tell you that my H is very highly sexual driven. Im not. Maybe twice a month for me is good. He's more like 4 times a wk. Men are visual creatures, we are emotional ones. He used to do porn surfing which most men do.. even if they don't admit it.. I just didn't want to know about it and as long as it didn't go any further than that. My H for some reason feels inadequate with me, so he was looking for someone to make him feel that way. I guess because I did want to have sex every day, he took it personally.

Some men turn to porn because they aren't getting "enough" but actually cheating is definately crossing the line. Your H sounds very confused.. for two reasons 1. he likes the "dirty girl" and can't seperate ml, to f*****ing. 2. I think he sounds insecure.

Fantasy's are fine, you don't necessarily have to tell your spouse about them. My H likes to experiment ALOT.. nothing weird though.. just toys and stuff. bringing someone into the mix or bondage.. no way. My H isn't that extreme, but if he were to contemplate any of that, we would have to part ways or definately get help in that area by a third party.

Its also what you can deal with. Its how you feel. I tried to be more open about things and try different things and that helped a lot.. especially now there is no excuse for the behavior.

I can say to you don't snoop.. thats the worse you can do, if you find it on accident that's one thing, but don't torture yourself.

Do you know for sure that he's living with someone?
Has he expressed sorrow for what he has done to you?
Has he given you some kind of reason for his actions?

you can email me anytime hun.. [e-mail] if you need to talk.

Take care and hang in there.

tal