I know this may be premature but need advice

[cat03]

There is this paragraph (dont' have book in front of me) in "not just friends" that says something like : it is unfair to compair the sizziling quemistry of an A to the familiar leveled love of a 10yr marriage.
Your wife might be searching for that magic faery that will bring her all those emotions one feels at the begining of a R, the kind of feelings you guys had when you were courting. The involved spouse doesnt' realize that, lets say, she would have a permanent R with OG their R would also evolve and the "magic" will end eventually.
I wonder if that's the problem.

W is still mourning the loss of the OG and is hesitant

Women have a much greater capability of rememberign things, I'm giving my H at least a few months to mostly get the ow out of his system (mostly), your W will need that much time too if not a bit longer. That doesn't mean she'll be uncabable of working on the M, but just so you'll know, it takes a long time.
Start the Imago therapy this week, it could really help you guys.

I really don't think anything is going on there any longer, but it just gets my mind racing. Am I doing the right thing by trying to make things work? Can I get the trust back? Will things really get better?

It still makes me unconfortable when my H has to stay overnight at his job, I know there is nothing going on anymore but the trust will take months to come back, I was able to trust my H again after the first bomb, I know eventually I will trust him more as the months go by, right now we are moving inch by inch, it is easy to despair but keep going, it is a long road but very worth it.

I think you are doing the right thing, you are keeping to your vows of being there for better and worse, right now you are in the "worse" part. I see so much promise in you two, keep courting her, don't over do it, just let her know you think of her with little tokens and give her time.