You personally cannot make anyone do anything. That's what courts are for so if you're worried about the house you'll either decide to handle it yourself, ask her to cough up her 50% or go to court to get it ordered with to be covered by her or sold. Once a decision is made to split the financing it's cold hard math that counts. Protect your children's future and ensure that your own standard of living is adequate.
You sound like you're still not decided so take the time to look and see what YOU want. Make a choice to either work longer on it or hold off or file but make a choice. Don't allow yourself to constantly second guess your decisions. Your wife is gone, has been for a few years, what are you going to do now?
