Thanks for your comments. I have been philosphically wrestling with my W’s suggestion of opening our marriage, trying to find ethical or other reasons for or against this, but realized today that a closed marriage is simply my preference, and that is reason enough.
Also realized the importance of controlling the narrative for our kids, how much better it will be to be able to place the blame on her if I behave blamelessly, saying that this all was her choice. If I start seeing people also, this won’t work, so yet another reason for monogamy.
Wife bought something from Ryanair for 30$ on Sept. 27, not enough I think to get down to Germany and OM. What could it be?
I need to file soon if my next paycheck, due this Friday, isn’t to be 50% hers. If she goes to Germany, I can turn off her ATM card that accesses our American bank account, but this would be legal only after I file, when my $ is then only my own. She got a letter from the bank today, just to her, so presumably has been putting money away somehow. Our joint account is now real low, so other payments will have to be transferred in by me and approved first.
Am also playing with the idea of sending her a text message saying ‘maybe a good solution would be for you to move in with your new man and not come home?’ or a similar, screw up her time with him, suggestion.
The mortgage is due the end of this month. We signed it 50/50, so I could ask her to pay 50%, but have no leverage. What if she doesn’t pay? Then the bank starts foreclosing… and do I really want that? Can you see a way to make her pay her way if we start playing hardball?
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
