Things have calmed down since my last hic up. I tried to make H jealous(if you read my last thread you will know the story). It almost blew everthing, but we've got through it.
My only problem is H is still refusing to be open about his communication with OW(he's never admitted A) He still has a pin code on his phone, still re-directs some of his post to work. In general it seem that something is still going on. He's being good with the kids, showing commitment in a practical sense within the home. However still has very limited affection towards me.
This has been going on for a long time now. (18months maybe more)
In the DB book it talks about the Last, last Resort Technique. Where you cut off emotionally altogether and insist that you will not speak to your spouse until they are prepared to prove that they have no contact with OP. I must say i'm quite tempted.
I think i want to get through Christmas and if things haven't improved, i might go for it. I know it's not for the light hearted. I'm continuing with GAL and all that, difficult sometimes with three kids, dog, cat and a H who works long hours.
Has anyone got any advice for me. In my mind if H doesn't stop contact with ow. He will not be able to come back to me.
It's his barclay card statements. He has used this card when he has been with her in the past. I know it's bad, but i set up internet banking for his Barclay card.(he doesn't know) so i can see exactly what he's spending anyway. Thats how i knew he saw her a couple of weeks ago.
I've asked H before, to be totally open with me with all his correspondence, so i can get the trust back. He won't do it.. I found out why in July when voda phone accidently sent him an itemised bill. (20 phone calls and 80 texts in one month to ow) that's not just a friend.
If he was totally committed he would go out of his way to reassure me that he has broken this so called friendship.
