Forrest Gump and his box of choclates.

[Forrest Gump]

LOL sorry Littlebitlost. She has had multiple EA. I assume there have been physical ones. Where is the line? She is definately involved in an EA at this point. Says he is just a "friend". Ok with me so far.

I know what you were saying as far as missing her.. Walk with me a little bit. You left your husband was holding a sign. You know what it said. In you making him miss you, what did it do? It allowed him to "spin" his thoughts. It left him unwilling to just jump back in when you were ready. Just as you were not ready to jump back in when he was.

What do I have to be angry about? I am not angry. I am tired (from not sleeping). I am hungry (from not eating). I am just tired of riding the adreneline (sp?) and nicotine.

We are not at the same place. There have been shining moments over the past 3 months. And as I said I have NFC what brought this on. I will say it right now. She was hiding the OM/EA while we were living together. Now she is just lying about it. I don't need to snoop. I know it in how she acts.

I will push through. I knew when the seperation occured I would have to shut down for a while. That is what I am doing. I really am not sure if I care wether it lasts or not. Why should I in the end it was her choice.

Yes she has committment issues. She has never followed thru on anything. Her job. Telling the kids you will do X or X will happen. X happens and no follow up. X just keeps happening. She is following a pattern. No question about that. She is walking down cheeseless tunnels. So was I. Look what it took to get my attention. I am just a DAM and can't think beyond my nose. Whats it gonna take for her to get bombed?

[littlebitlost]

Whats it gonna take for her to get bombed?

Maybe exactly this........what you are doing now? Have you physically split before? when she realizes that she may have pushed too far and that you aren't going to put up with it anymore?....that might be what it takes. That is what it took for me. I had committment issues too. When i realized that he had had it and that he might really be gone THAT is what made me want to be a better person, made me want to do whatever it will take to show and prove that I am a better person, that giving me another chance just might be something he could try.

I understand how you must feel right now as i have thought and delved deep into how I made my H feel. But it took him putting the fear of god into me that I may just have really DONE IT this time.

And really is calling yourself a DAM tuly what you think you are? I KNOW it isnt and I can't imagine the neg connatations that come with saying thngs like that, even if youdon't really mean it, on a subconcsious level, must be somewhat damaging to you. So Smart Ass, stop that!!!!!

[Heimlich]

A drive by thought, Forrest. Stinks that your W is/has had EAs. You say that you have "NFC what brought this on." Part of being a leader in all of this is figuring out what your role in all of this was. I've not read all of your posts, and you may have done so, but getting from NFC to "oh, crap, I can't believe I made her feel that way" is a huge step in moving forward.

What needs is the EA filling for your W that you weren't?

BD

[Forrest Gump]

In saying I have NFC why it went this way. Is things were going ok. There had been alot of good things then all of a sudden I want you to leave. I have stated what I was not doing.

[Heimlich]

I just skimmed a bit of your thread again, you seem to know why you are where you are. This didn't come out of the blue -- you were drinking, temper(?), and doesn't seem like either of you were talking to the other -- hence the EA's on both of your parts.

You keep saying you hit the high points and disregard the filler. Lots of times, life's in the filler between the high points.

BD

[Forrest Gump]

Heimlich

Not sure if I know what to say. I think if you are going to comment you should at least read the entire post. But since you read the high points like me I will make it simple.

I am a physical person. She is a blend of heart felt gifts and quality time. As is typical we did not meet each others needs. Neither one of us were communicating.

She had a EA with some physical qualities. I did the fast forgive. Waited for her to come to me. I thought she should. NFC disease was setting in. This cycle repeated. Chesseless Tunnels and NFC disease took its toll.

Wife wants out. Wife can't leave because of money. We stay in same house. I pressure and talk about R we do more of the same. I back off it is not working. She tells me she will back off "friend" She does not. "Friend" always seems to be in my face no matter what I do. I back off some more. I can tell she is thinking I am mad. I tell her I am not mad just trying to give her space. She tells me to leave. I do. Living at mom and dads. Still paying all bills.

What I was saying in the post about where it came from was things seemed to be getting better then all of a sudden you gotta go. I am fully aware and have posted as much my contribution to this marriage failing. I know what I need to give my wife now. She no longer wants it.

Now on to today...

I was supposed to have both kids tonight as Tues and Thurs she works. I come to our home get the kids together for the night and wait for her to come home. My D13 of course has a busy schedule and I end up with just my son. As soon as I see him I can tell the difference in him. My son is just like me. I can see his thoughts. He is distant and talking in noises which is a pretty good sign he has had no attention. Its been 2 days!! My wife has a hard time controlling him. I could tell he was tired and had been staying up late. See people like me need a routine almost. Kinda like Rain man just not to that extent. My son is off his routine. My daughter came home from her busy night late which was ok I am willing to let her slide a little. She was asking what I was doing tomorrow so I know she wanted to be here but you know boys are a little more important right now. I feel so bad for them. It hurts me to think they are missing something they want. Again it has only been 2 days. I hope to be able to overcome this or maybe the new routine will settle on them. Has anyone else in this situation seen this? This is all new to me. I learn pretty quick but this is kinda scary. I am gonna take them to the beach this weekend. Hopefully that will build a little hope in them.

[cliffy]

Living on nicotine and adrenaline, I hear ya there. The beach sounds like a great idea.
Sorry not much input, because at this point I have NFC either.
Good luck with the kids, keep focusing on them and see where the rest takes you.
You seem strong in your convictions on what you want, you appear to have given her what she wants right now.

[Forrest Gump]

Ok I had to post this. Sorry if I am tooting my own horn it really is not intended that way. After reading this part you will need to start at the bottom of the post. I work with some really good looking women. The one I am emailing to is the HWIC (Head Woman In Charge) They don't know me other than I work with them. The only perception they have of me is me doing my job. I am not interested in any of them 3 are married have kids and are happy. HWIC is going out for Mat leave. Soldier girl is a inside joke. Soldier girl is 25ish and is something to look at. I just could not believe that this is the responce I got from them. It almost had me in tears. This is something I will keep and read at least every other day. I love my wife. I have no interest in these women. I have never flirted or done anything other than my job. The morning that I started this email I had told Soldier girl and HWIC that I had moved back home to Mom and Dads. Work had called all night and I had had 2-3 hours of sleep. What follows is what I got Their names have been removed.



Go to bottom and read up.




Yes, more hot chicks (for you anyways!!!) And definitely less babies (for me!)

-----Original Message-----
Forrest Gump


So what I think you are saying is more hot chicks and less new babies? I am on board with that. Ok I gotta stop before I get myself in trouble. Way inappropiate work talk. I know because I have seen the wonderfully produced tapes. LOL.

-----Original Message-----

Love it! Gotta say, though, night feedings don't get me jazzed either!

-----Original Message-----
Forrest Gump


What can I say other than thanks again. Here's to Hot chicks and new babies!

-----Original Message-----

Cory, you don't know. We all think you are so amazing. Guess that is why I am angry. Unfortunately for her (and I mean this and could probably totally get in trouble for saying this, but we all feel this way) you are going to be way better off than she is in the end because I think some young, hot chick is going to totally snatch you up when you are finally ready for that part of your life again. Take solace in that too when you need it. I have no doubts about it at all!



-----Original Message-----
Forrest Gump


I have been there and done the night feedings. Not sure I want to do that all over again. Although now that I think about I really dont sleep much. LOL. Any way my wife did not get here on her own. We got here together. Its just a shame she does not want to work together to move on. Dont be angry I have plenty of that. Its gotta get better for me cause I dont see how it could get any worse. We will all miss you too and I wish you the best. I know this is a fun time and a stressful time. I never told you guys but that day I wore my suit to work and you guys hooted and hollered. Man did I need that. I still think about it out from time to time just to feel a little better. To much info for work. LOL. Enjoy your time away and we will try to take care of soldier girl as much as we can.




-----Original Message-----

Of course! As long as you get up for the night feedings! Cory, I am going to miss you. I just think you are amazing and terrific and I am so sorry that you are dealing with the family things that you are dealing with. You don't deserve them one bit. It makes me very angry for you!



-----Original Message-----
Forrest Gump


My question is can I take Maternity leave with you?


Sent: 10/8/2007 12:02 PM
Subject: Today

Just a reminder that I will be out starting tomorrow since I am being induced at 7a. X is back today. While I am out, you may direct AR questions to her. If she is out, X may help in a limited fashion. X will be handling HR and AP while I am out. X will continue to handle the deposits as she has been for the last several weeks. There will be no deposit today since it is Columbus day and the banks are closed. If you have any questions or concerns that you feel I need to address, please address them today before 4p ET.

Thanks!

[littlebitlost]

Hye forrest ...wanted to pop in and say hi and check in how you are doing....

I see that your chin is up and thats good! Hope that the pulling back and distancing is something that your wife is going to wake up and notice, though if she does you wont know it for awhile (trust me) and by then you may not care.

Hope you are in a good frame of mind....and eat something other than nicotine and caffeine!!!!

Big smile and hug coming your way now........ OOOO (hugs!)

[Forrest Gump]

Hey Littlebitlost,

Doing well better than expected. Still don't like my situation but it could be worse. I am really not speaking with wife at all. If she calls I let it roll to voicemail if she leaves a message I call back if she dosent then I don't. When I am at the house (Tues and Thurs) I meet her in the driveway. I never thought I would latch onto distancing this quickly. I really don't want to talk to her or see her. Really and honestly I don't know who she is anymore. Whats worse I don't want to get to know the new her. My friends have really jumped on board and have been helping me stay busy. Work has taken a turn for the better and there will likely be some extended travel coming up for me. I signed and printed the paperwork to drop the price on the house for the next 3 weeks. If by the end of the month we do not have a contract I will look into buying her out. My mom and dad have been putting pressure on me to see a lawyer but I am not ready to do that yet. Where have you been? I see your thread got locked and you never answered my question. Update us on how you are doing. I had to take a little break not in full force yet but almost.