Now I've done it.... again #4?

[nephartiti]

Thanks, Donna.

You know I've been thinking (too much probably). Maybe I never really knew him.

He has had 2 other serious relationships besides me. The first was into porn and cheated on him with another woman. She later got seriously involved with a guy in the porn industry.

GF #2 was into toys and initiated a threesome with GF#1. She could not have sex until she had self gratified herself. Sad and sick.

H played around with bondage and once freaked out because he thought he accidentally gave me a disc that had pics of him and OW in bondage poses.

That would make me the odd one in his trail of women. I am a prude, I guess. Maybe I was the 180, the transitional R after his mom died. Maybe this is who he really is. Was our M a sham?

I would not be surprised if OW is into porn. The last half dozen times H and I were intimate, I felt like it was very porn, not like we ever had ML before. It was a circus show. Maybe that's how they are together. I still feel so sick.

I am contemplating changing my cell number. I want to just crawl under a rock. I don't think I can look him in the face, let alone act as if. I am going pitch black. I know this shouldn't be such a big deal, but it is.