"here's a guy who only cares about his wife for as long as she looks good and turns him on. All the problems in the bedroom are her fault, because he is always perfect."
I pity that woman.
Good thing I'm not married to you, then. Talk about pressure!
Caring for a woman and being able to get turned on by her are two different things. Caring for her means wanting to get turned on by her and make love to her... it doesn't mean actually getting turned on by her or being able to make love to her.
Of course knowing that your partner equates one to the other, or thinking that she might, doesn't help matters.
Fortunately, in our case, a little testing on my own with movies featuring a wide variety of test subjects revealed that (a) there was still a problem on my side, regardless of the attractiveness of the body shown to me and (b) I did have an easier time, but not nearly a problem-free experience, when I was alone and no one's feelings could possibly get hurt by my failure to perform. So it was off to the doctor I went, with a definite feeling of "if this doesn't work, I'm totally (un)screwed!"
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
