Remembering myself, Part II

[Dom R]

Can you imagine your female partner assuring you it doesn't matter, she still loves you, "BTW, will you go down on me?" Actually it has the effect of making you want to avoid the whole subject.

There you go, making factual statements out of assumptions again. Not a good move, Lillie. Particularly with that whole "you're not a man" problem.

I suggest you throw all those books away, and start fresh, with a "beginner's mind". Har har


"Actually", I CAN imagine my female partner doing that, and no, it would NOT make me avoid sex altogether...if i actually believed it.

Credence in this area depends on a whole lot of things.
First and formost, of course, would be how much of a nympho(*cough*) she acted like, with respect to getting eaten out. Or some other activity, if the male partner doesnt happen to be "into that".



If a woman has spent years with a man, exclusively using penis centric lines like "I want your xxx", "I need 'you' inside me", "your xxxx can satisfy me like no-one else's", etc, etc. rather than more general "making love" terms.... there's going to be a whoooole lot of rebuilding to be done, to build credibility there.

Similarly, if all they have been doing together is primarily P/V intercourse.. there's going to be a lot of rebuilding to be done, before he believes it.

That's part of what I meant, by the man needing to "feel comfortable". He has to really believe that the woman truely values sex with him just as much, if his 'little soldier' doesnt come out to play.
Ideally, there will be SOME activity besides "the ol in-out" that he already knows that she enjoys, so that her begging him, "oh, do THAT to me nowwwww....!" will be completely believable by him.


Any teeny tiny one-time slip of, "well, this stuff has been great, but I really miss your xxxx", is going to scar him for years.

The thing is, though... a man who truely cares about his wife, will give her that chance to rebuild the sexual relationship between them, even though he will have difficulty believing it at first.

Conversely, a wife who truely cares about her husband... will put in the effort from her end to show her husband that she really does value him at times when his winkie doesnt wink... even when he is reluctant and expresses disbelief about it.

Only time, and practice, will make it "real" for him.


If the guy is more caught up with what "hollywood" tells him he should be doing in the bedroom, instead of what his wife tells him.. then obviously, he's going to have problems adjusting.

May we all be blessed with spouses that focus first and foremost, on what we tell them is important to us. In the bedroom, and otherwise.