I have to keep reminding myself that men like sex, think about it a lot, and get erections when they are turned on. After years with my H, I literally began to disassociate erections with male arousal. No joke. After he had the implant, he just had to manually pump it up and off we went. When I met my bf, I wasn't expecting erections; I hadn't been around one in soooo long. Of course, he was all in a stew because he couldn't hang on to one, but it literally was off my radar. BTW I learned that you never tell a guy with ED that his E or lack of same doesn't matter to you. That's the same as telling him that HE doesn't matter to you. You're trying to let him off the hook, but he is insulted.
Dom, now that I'm calmer... I'm a woman, but I've never had a baby. If someone is talking about motherhood and breastfeeding, I can truly say that even though I'm a woman and have all the equipment, I don't know precisely what they're talking about. I can imagine what it would be like to give birth or to nurse, but that would only be my imagination. If you can 99.9% of the time rely on your penis to behave normally, you truly do not know what it is like for a guy who cannot. I don't know exactly what he's thinking either except for the zillion books and articles and bulletin boards that I've read. But have you read all those things and really talked to other guys about their feelings when they can physically handle a naked breast or butt and have NO reliable response from their penis? Or where they have a response somewhat but as soon as they try IC or even to change position, it goes limp? Like karen's H, my bf will only have IC in one position. I guess it "worked" for him in the past. We've never done my fav position. We've tried it, but each time he loses the E. Are you STARTING to get the picture?
ETA:
Originally Posted By: Dom
That is to say, he may lose, or waver, in his mental "arousal", as a result of the lose of his physical arousal.
This is exactly what I thought I was saying. The mental arousal depends on the fact of the physical arousal.
And yes I am defensive. This is a very hot and painful topic for me. WILL I ever see a reliably erect penis again before I die? I don't know. I'll be 59 next month. It's not looking good.
