Remembering myself, Part II

[Dom R]

Dom, don't pretend to know what goes on in the mind of a guy who CANNOT get an erection, because you haven't a clue. I'm not overthinking, and I'm not pretending to be a guy. You're really starting to piss me off.

you're getting overly defensive, given your position...

....
Did you know a guy can ..,.

Yes. I do.
Because I'm A Guy.
None of that was a relevalation to me. But you're mixing words up. Maybe it's the fault of the books you've been reading, that are using poor descriptions.

Here's a more accurate perspective for you:
When a guy loses his erection, it's not that he "doesnt 'know' if he's aroused". For starters, he is literally NOT physically aroused any more. That's a definition.

What may happen, is that he might wonder, "errr.. well this is bad... do I keep trying to make something happen, or just call it off and pretend I dont care?"

That is to say, he may lose, or waver, in his mental "arousal", as a result of the lose of his physical arousal.


I could make more comments about that paragraph that you wrote, but I'll instead make a more general comment:


What you are doing, is as if I went on a long monologue about how I know all about the sexual response of a woman, because i've done an 'extensive study of the female pubic area for 17 years', and then got all upset because a woman came along and corrected me on things.

You have only limited experience of YOURSELF, and you don't have this problem.

however, that puts me as having infinitely more experience than you, who have never had the issue yourself, and never will.

For all your 17 years of being on the female side of the equation, not once did you truely, directly experience what your husband went through. Not Once. You only experienced the effects that HIS problem, had on you.

While I have had the happiness of only having ED once (that I remember) in the presence of, shall we say, immediate pressure to perform... I have had going on 40 years of direct, personal experience with the way that a man's mental desire interacts with the way his physical equipment reacts, or does not react. Not to mention the factor of general stress, and various other things on it.

You have had 0.00 years of personal experience to go along with your 17 years of secondary experience and research of it.

So please take in a little humility and a reality check, with all your years of study on the subject.

Karen, my theory is that the "waxing and waning" is enough to cause anxiety, combined with his other adolescent, inexperienced attitudes toward sex.

Yah, thats what i said already. Except for the "inexperienced" bit... i think that's only a minor factor.


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Side comment to Lou: I'm really sorry for you, and BB not being "active" . Sounds like when she gets on top, she still makes you do all the work. No fair!
With an active woman on top, it can be more stimulating.
Seems to me like having to be muscle-active, deadens nerve response back to the brain. (ie: the more you work, the less you feel back sexually, because the nerves are kept partially full sending back what your muscles are doing)

In the CompSci world, we'd call that a bandwidth problem
I think at the biochemical level, that's actually what is it, too.