Glad to see you back (and so much *less* of you---impressive loss of inches, there)! (Around your middle, I trust I don't have to add. Argh---the ghost of CVA.)
Originally Posted By: Heimlich
Broke through my reserve on Friday, said something to W like "they're hurting and they'll adjust but be better with both of us than if we continue on this path."
"Broke through my reserve" sounds like it's a positive step. I'
m gearing up for this, too, as you know, but you've got to stop that using the kids as a reason to work on things. You know it. If this keeps up, you'll either drive her off for good or bring her back and be looking at a beehive of resentment down the line. Again, you know this. What can you do to stop it from happening again?
Originally Posted By: Heimlich
Yeah, pushed a bit. Not as bad as in the past
It's good that it's not as bad, but while you put the positive spin on it, you know she'll put the negative spin on it: "He's still pushing, still not getting it, not giving me space, won't back off..."
Originally Posted By: Heimlich
Apologized for going to the house without calling her first.
Please tell me this is a repeat of what you've already posted and that you didn't apologize again.
Originally Posted By: Heimlich
Can't remember what she said, but said something that I know you feel violated and I know what that feels like
Oh, Heim...
Originally Posted By: Heimlich
Told her I made the decision to trust her and never drove by the office, checked her cell, looked at her email, nothing in all of that time. That I had trusted her. She didn't have much to say.
Why in the world would you tell her all that now?
Originally Posted By: Heimlich
Something in me, hopefully not unfounded optimism, says that she's starting to rethink things.
I hope you're right, Heim, but:
Originally Posted By: Heimlich
asked W -- was non-committal..."i'm not ready to spend time with you yet..." She didn't have much to say..."
Who knows what's going on in her head? I'm afraid anything you do that's a slip at this point will be magnified 1000x under W's microscope and she's still running. Can you back off any more?
Reading about your love for your W has helped highlight for me the lack of love I feel for H. This makes detaching muuuuuch easier for me than it is for you, but I wish it for you, too, so you have any chance of her coming back.
