Find as much PMA improving activity as you can, get to a place where your H can do anything right now and it will not affect you. If you can achieve that then you end up with the power in your R with H
This is exactly where I find myself Dave, & what a nice & relaxing place it is.
On Saturday I told H once again that while I would have liked to save this M, I agree, it is impossible, really impossible, completely impossible & I will help him in any way I can to resolve what needs to be done.
He responded with, "What's impossible about it J, are you just going to give up another marriage?" Sat down & wanted me to explain what the problem was. I just replied once again that I agreed with him & was sure we could be great friends.
In the middle of this I answered a phone call finalizing plans to go to a concert that night & told him I better get moving, as I was taking S4 to my parents for a sleep-over. He wanted to know where I was going, what time, why I was in such a hurry if it wasn't for a few hours.
He once more told me how awful our M was, asked me if maybe be weren't chemically right for each other, that we just might be the type of people that rub each other the wrong way.
I responded that yes, it was awful, we might not be chemically right for each other & that we might rub each other the wrong way.
The next comment from him was, "It's time I end this". "If I did come back, do you think counseling would help?" "I'm afraid to ever came back, because it would be too hard to go through this again." "I hear you though, we'll talk next week. That was a great talk."
So, off he went for his Saturday date night & weekend with OW.
I don't know what he meant by "end this" & I'm not concerned about it.
He did call around noon & left a VM saying he would be here to take the boys out for dinner & I'm welcome to join them. Not sure if I want to go or not yet.
I've been reading the Homer e-book (skimming actually) almost everyday. This seems to be the right fit for me & has definitely improved my attitude & helped me detach to where I'm nice & calm.
So, I'm out to enjoy a beautiful day here, & finally can really do that without being consummed with "trying to make things work".
