Ooooo! i missed this!!!

Originally Posted By: karen1
This weekend which was too full of friends, family, activities etc.... for me to even know my own name much less to have done anything about this issue - H decides to
get a little more kissy, little azz pat etc...


This is exactly reinforcing what I've been saying, about his fleeing performance anxiety.

With all those people around, he felt "safe" from you attacking him for sex.
So he felt more comfortable showing you affection.. secure in the knowlege that you would be unable to pressure him for sex.

He likes being close to you, but fears the embarassment that sex brings to him.
So he shuts down anything that could possibly lead that way, to avoid it.

Quote:

How do you "care" but not like him? How is it that you want but don't want at the same time? I don't get it.


fear of failure/embarassment/shame.

go call that therapist.
then actually do what they say ;\)

Last edited by Dom R; 10/08/07 09:47 PM.
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D.
Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M.
3 wonderful sons caught in the middle