Hi, I have read Michele's "Remedy" book, but the day-to-day details are so tricky.
My husband moved out after 29 years of marriage for a "trial separation." We have 2 kids, 20 and 17, both away at school. He is having major MLC, and is significantly depressed (on medication, now.) No OW (yet!, but I think he would like to give it a try...)
He tells me that he needs to live on his own and "grow up." However, he keeps wanting to see me (about once a week we have dinner at home, with wine, and he has spent the night several times since he moved out a month ago.) I don't get on his case (any more!)--I just treat him like I am glad to see him, because I am!
Here is the question: Is this going to work as a trial? How can he miss me if he won't go away? Sometimes I get so sick of being his back-up plan that I want to tell him to forget it! The kids come home pretty often, and they are pretty pissed off at him. But he seems to expect that he can still be here for family gatherings, family dinners, etc. when he feels like it.
I guess my question is about what limits to set, that would be productive toward the goal of reuniting. Sometimes I feel so hurt by his choices that I wonder if I can do this for the long haul. I am tempted to just tell him the truth, but I do believe that would be counterproductive. I just get overwhelmed by yearning or "woman scorned" fury. Any advice? I have read the success stories, but it is hard to believe that I can hang in there long enough to give it a chance!
