Our Hs must check their points with each other before they spew them at us.
Look at my sitch, morgan. Read what ot wrote. Go as dark as you can; there is email. It is the only way that I am going to get in touch with him, even when I am feeling strong. I never know when the strength will evaporate, so I am not putting myself in that spot again.
What are you up to today? I'm doing some homework, then nails :0)
have been running around all afternoon...bought D3 "ruby slippers" which go nicely with her snow white costume, but can be used to play dorothy when she dresses up. she is in awe of them. they are cheapo target ones and I just know she thinks they are really and truly ruby slippers. I think she actually gasped. ahhh, 3. its such an awesome age.
I finished up the halloween shopping (some stuff was missing in costumes H was going to buy so he didn't end up getting anything yesterday), then went into the bookstore and bought myself the book for the Jane Austen Book Club, as well as Persuasion (the only austen I haven't read...and one that I should read now, apparently. sounds like 19th century db-ing. lol). so now I have 3 books that I can read to go along with the 5 self help ones...nice to be able to take breaks from all the crap.
donna, definitely going dark. hard because I want to forget this all happened and call him and rave about how cute S5 looks in his costume. but I'm not going to. nope. he'll see it when he comes by later.
I'm not going to be hostile to him, but I am going to be removed/dark from him.
and I am going to do some serious work on myself tomorrow in therapy. going to make it about me, not about him. action instead of reaction.
not much else to tell. I have a chicken in the oven, so the kids are getting a good dinner tonight. I'm feeling okay. not going to let him get me down, just sad that it seems to be heading that way. and confused that he still seems to be fighting divorce. weird, that. but no use trying to figure it out.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Lady, I am truly sorry for what's happened and all the things that your H said to you. I'm sure there are a lot of us that are wondering if our H's took lessons from the same instructor on how to be incredibly hurtful and how to verbally throw punches.
I feel like my H wishes he had a do over in life too. And if he did, he certainly wouldn't have chosen a wife & child. Although, he made those choices, he feels entitled to think he shouldn't have the obligations anymore. BLAH!! Makes me sick to my stomach. He once told me that I could be a good wife & a good mother, but not both at the same time. That killed me! I was struggling through being a fairly new mom (leaky breasts, still flabby body...), having just moved to a new state, being the main breadwinner, not seeing him because of our schedules.....etc. I know I wasn't perfect, but it all got dumped on me.
I don't understand how your H can cry on the phone to you about how he feels and about doing what he's done, yet push away from you and your life even more. Why the hell can't we just pray a prayer or smack them upside the head and knock some sense into them to make it all right?
I like'd your email. You're a strong, strong lady. I'm truly sorry that this is all happening to you, especially around your anniversary. Mine was in Sept......no acknowledgment from H whatsoever.
Take care-
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
I know I said I was going to contact the lawyer but after thinking about it, I don't really want to; its still your card, your play. if you want to call the lawyer, its up to you. If I decide to in the future, it won't be because I am emotional or upset. it will be because I know it is the right thing to do.
I think you did the right thing too, Morgan. Congratulations on having the courage, and personal integrity, to send that email.
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D. Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M. 3 wonderful sons caught in the middle
okay, I have been doing so good today and reading your posts just made me cry. you all say such nice things to me. damn, sue, your "lady" alone set me off. I am so tired of being the whipping girl in H's life. I am not the root of all evil. I know that. I wish he did. but I do know it. and nice, somehow, to have complete stranges tell me I'm strong, that I did something well or right. that I have courage. that I can and will rise about all of this.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Glad to see that chicken got cooked since it was ignored yesterday.
HUGS and LOVES to you my morgan. For the record, morgan has the CUTEST voice and what I am to imagine the cutest little kids running around her, loving her. It was fun talking with you yesterday, I was happy you called.
I am sooooo happy to hear remorseful/somesense H called you and apologized. I think you threw him off, being emotional because he is used to calm/semidark morgan. Like I said, he KNEW he would upset you or he wouldn't have ever asked you to move rooms away from the kids. It was a bad day for you, but him owning up to being an a$$ helped.
I loved the email. You were the better person to tell him what you did. Great job. Hope you have a good night.
lwb, you are so cute. you really are. notice how she doesn't tell you all about my potty mouth...I was mad as a hornet when I talked to her. truly a sweet person, lwb. and sounds as nice and together on the phone as she comes across here online. when I grow up, I think I want to be her.
I was so busy with the kids when H called tonight it was good...lots of halloween costume talk, lots of stuff going on with the kids telling him how much fun they had with their costumes, we were having a good time when he called, it was slightly chaotic, no time for drama or even getting sucked into how he sounded (good, bad, upset?) none of it.
HUGE proud. my mil called me to comment on pics of the kid in their halloween comments. I did not tell her anything about H or what he has been doing. nothing. none of it. I am leaving her out of it. I have pulled her in enough, and it is making her ill, I can't anymore. I need her to be well, and not have her stress over what an ass for a son she has. I did good.
eta, and lwb, that chicken did get cooked...and I'll say it myself, I make a damned good roast chicken. lol. so a real, hot meal...although they seemed to love last night's scrambled eggs.
Last edited by morgan; 10/09/0712:32 AM.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Yay for the chicken!! Well, not yay for that poor chicken, but yay for a home cooked meal. lol And yep, scrambled eggs work well too.
morgan's mouth was a bit...spicy...but hey...she earned it yesterday and her kids weren't in the room. lol
I saw on Oprah today about Jerry Seinfeld's wife and her new cookbook. I am totally getting it. I am up to this challenge to feed my kids in a healthier manner.
Kudos to you taking MIL out of the picture. I am very proud of you. There was a day, morgan my dear, where she would have been the first one you called yesterday.
Sounds like you are doing well in spite of that mini bomb. Let's get ready for these bombs together shal we? Humor, love and patience with a mix of strength and mama bear.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
It was fun talking with you yesterday, I was happy you called.