If that is soo important to him.. he should SEE A DOCTOR! If he wont.. then that is his problem. Meanwhile, his own problems, should not stop him from helping his wife.
Yes, it is his problem, and she is experiencing the fallout. My late H had penile implant surgery... and it helped some. But if a guy does not get a spontaneous erection, it's hard (pardon the pun) for him to know he is aroused. The hardon is the undeniable signal to him that he is aroused.
Going to a doctor may or may not help. Clearly this is a subject that you (happily) don't know much about.
And YOU sidestepped MY question: how many times have you experienced a loss of erection? Don't want to talk about it? How did you feel? What if you could never be sure that your penis would respond, no matter how turned on you might be.
Mojo, the penis is a physical organ, and when the blood vessels and nerves are damaged, it will NOT get hard. It won't. The man may mentally want to do it, but if the penis will not get hard it sets up a chain reaction of anxiety and self doubt within him. Mojo said:
Quote:
it seems highly unlikely to me that a man who doesn't suffer from ED could perform oral or manual on a woman to the point of orgasm and not become aroused himself unless he had recently ejaculated
This statement tells me how (again, happily) clueless you are about the subject of impotence, a subject I know all too much about. Before I met my late husband, I would have probably said the same thing [sigh]. My bf can lie naked, spooned behind be with the appropriate parts touching and have no physiological reaction. Without the physiological reaction, a guy has nothing with which to proceed (in his mind).
Yes, impotence can certainly have psychological causes-- my only experience (that I'm sure of) has been with physiological causes. Several other women who've posted here from time to time have verified what I've said: my bf HAS viagra, but he won't use it. The whole subject is so fraught with anxiety.
I think there's more than this going on with mr karen, but one can't discount the anxiety-producing effects of a few bouts with ED.
And yes, by not practical, I meant "not likely" for him. He clearly has never had a high SD, judging by his experience before and with karen.
Keepin' it real.
ETA: after reading your post--- yes, I agree that a guy SHOULD be willing to please his wife physically even if he isn't aroused. A woman should be willing to have sex even if she isn't aroused. Now what?
