I came really close to calling her today to try to discuss the details of all of this. But I stopped myself. Got to thinking about this lawyer fiasco......I think the crap to hit the fan is less than 12 hours out.
I also want to find out what she wants out of this. Her take on what is fair. I have been really thinking about this all weekend. I have sorted my prioritys on what I am hoping to happen.
I guess though why push it, I will find out soon enough.
Me and the kid actually had a pretty good day, for the most part I was to let this go, but it has been a challenge.
Hey G. Listen the whole lawyer thing really is not your problem...it is her's so I would not go sweating it. You'll find out what she thinks is fair soon enough man. You have no control over this G. Sit back and let it play out. Respond with what you thinks is fair when the time comes. That's it. Deep breaths.
It sounds like things are at a tough point. I'm sorry for that, NDDT.
Judging by the time of your post, things should be developing about now (I see the post having happened at 11pm, and now it's 9:45). I hope things aren't too volitile.
Not sure if this is a good idea or not. But me and STBX have tentively agreed to use the same lawyer as a mediator. We also agreed that if this does go south then we go our own direction and seek other council. Neither of us would be able to use that firm then.
I am going to try to approach this with an open mind, but I wont be pushed into agreeing with something I dont want.
This may work out and save us both some big bucks. Guess time will tell now.....
I think it's a great idea NDDT. As long as you are comfortable that this lawyer can still be unbiased. My STBX and I are also using a mediator. At first she wanted to use her friend's mother for that which I said no to. Obviously serious concerns about her ability to not show some type of bias in the situation. So depending on how much time she has had with him, etc....you may want consider that.
Otherwise I think Mediation is a great idea. Once you have an attorney representing you...IMHO...is when it gets ugly. If you two can come to terms on your own...you will be way better off. It will help you in whatever R you two have in the future (co-parents) and it will most likely save a lot of money.
Cool. Hope your experience with it was as pleasant as mine. And, yeah, oddly enough it was pleasant -- or at least as pleasant as soemthing like that can be. BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
Just got the papers. I dont know if mediation is going to work. Am willing to sit down for one session to do more listening than talking. Am NOT going to commit to anything that day, will give myself time to mull it over. Also am going to give myself the right to get up and walk at anytime.....
I see a few things in the petition I already disagree with.... 1. Primary physical placement 2. Maintenance !!!! (This one here alone has me close to just ready to skip mediation and go straight to my own lawyer) 3. Attorney fees......me pay hers.......again see #2
I am frustrated, angry, hurt .....you name it at the moment. This is going to happen. I guess right now I need to concentrate on not allowing myself to get taken to the cleaners.....
This stuff is pretty thought consuming. I dont have anything real upbeat or enlightening to say at the moment.
So the attorney drew this up right G? Is this what she really expects or is this what the attorney is asking for? Again, this could be the exact reason you avoid an attorney.
Our first mediation appt is Monday morning. I plan to go with an open mind. I want to do alot of listening, and taking notes. I am hoping that things go well....... At the same time I am covering my backside. I am doing alot of legal research right now. I will not roll over at this point and become a doormat.
This is something that she has decided to do. Not what I want, or what my kid wants. But it is going to happen. I do not plan to agree to or sign anything on this first session. I am also reserving the right to walk away if this is looking like I about to get my hat handed to me. I see no reason why I should be paying big money for the next umpteen years because of her decisions. If it comes to it, I am working on a backup plan, and it is "game on"
I am going to pray on this, that she comes to this session and is willing to be reasonable. I guess, between now and Monday, I need to do as much preperation as I can, research legally. And prepare my mindset. Going to have my PMA going, not going to lose my cool. Gonna give myself some time afterward to consider the discussion.
